Nicole Feltz
It’s been 22 years since she lived there as a child, but when Nicole Feltz walks into The Salvation Army Children’s Shelter in midtown Kansas City, Missouri, the memories come streaming back
“I remember my room, the toy closet, getting prizes for being good,” said Nicole. “I remember it all. But it makes me stronger to come here. I need to do it.” Nicole, who is now 31, is now a regular volunteer at the Children’s Shelter, which cares for kids ages birth to 17 who have been removed from their homes due to abuse, neglect or abandonment. Nicole was just nine years old when she was brought to the Children’s Shelter as a victim of sexual abuse.
The story of her childhood is sad, but unfortunately, not unusual among kids who come to the Shelter. Her mother, an alcoholic, was often absent, leaving Nicole and her four year old half-brother alone to fend for themselves. “My mother wasn’t around much. We lived a transient life, never staying in the same place for very long. She would leave us alone for days at a time, and I was left to take care of myself and my little brother. I can remember as a kid not ever knowing when or where or what we were going to do.”
Nicole lived at the Children’s Shelter for nearly a year with her younger brother, who was four at the time, and says it was the first time in her young life that she felt safe. It was also the first time she could really be a child.
“I remember swinging on a swing set for the first time in my life there and thinking if there was anything better than this, I didn’t want to know about it,” said Nicole. “I look back on that time with positive memories, memories of actually getting to be a child. Yes, my brother was there and I still watched over him, but the staff allowed me to play games, play outside, things that most 9 year olds have experienced. I hadn't, due to being a mother to my 4 year old brother.”
The Salvation Army Children’s Shelter has been a temporary safe haven for more than 6,000 children since opening in 1981. Trained staff and volunteers work with the children on issues of grief, loss and separation, as well as the trauma of the abuse and neglect they have endured. Clinical social work services are provided by licensed staff and include family, group and individual counseling, working on building the child’s self-esteem, problem solving and coping skills, life skill development and social and emotional development. The Shelter can accommodate up to 20 children at any one time and is often full.
Nicole says the care she received at the Children’s Shelter changed her life. “The shelter was amazing to us. They allowed me to be a child. I didn’t have to worry about being a mother to my brother, or how to put a meal on the table. The main focus at the Shelter was to feel safe. To let you know that nothing you did was your fault. They gave me a piece of my childhood back.”
Nicole and her brother left the Shelter after about a year to live with relatives in northern Missouri and there finally began living a normal, structured life. Nicole went to college, graduating with a degree in education and currently she works as a financial analyst for Cigna Healthcare. Today, she lives in Overland Park with her husband and six year old daughter.
She has fond memories of her time living at The Children’s Shelter: “My best memories are of the normal things kids should have growing up: making friends, playing on the playground, eating real meals, picking out my own clothes. That part was actually amazing to me. I couldn’t believe having a whole closet full of clothes. My experience was maybe a drawer of clothes, or even just a bag.”
Nicole and her husband continue to visit the Shelter as volunteers. “It’s a piece of who I am. I feel like I have a responsibility to pay it forward. Going through something like that gives you a desire to make a difference. And I will always be thankful to the Salvation Army for saving us.”
